A few hours have passed,  

the feeling hasn't faded,  

when mama told me, I remember staring at her in shock, 

the light faded from my eyes,  

incoherent screams left my throat, accompanied with muffled sobs, 

my limbs compressed into themselves,  

tears flowed down my face as if you opened a floodgate, 

bile rose from the depths of my stomach, threatening to spill out, 

I remember hoping it was a nightmare. 

 
 

I miss you more than life itself, 

you were a man of life, 

full of laughter and love,  

every room you entered was filled with unsurpassed energy.  

 
 

I remember the endless tales of war,  

I remember each and every instance where you fought for us, 

I remember the countless stories from my childhood, 

I remember the last time we met, the joy and casualty in which we spoke, unknowingly bidding farewell forever, 

I remember you more than I remember anything else.  

 
 

It hurts me more than anything to say it will only remain a memory, 

it hurts me more than anything to say I wasn't there when it happened,  

it hurts me more than anything to say I didn't get to say goodbye, 

it hurts me more than anything to write this as a way to honour your memory.  

 
 

I know you would want me to be happy and reminisce fondly,  

I know you would be proud of me no matter what, 

I know I was your favourite and you were mine,  

I know you were waiting for the day I graduated, 

I know you were my biggest supporter in every venture,  

I know you were on my side when no one else was, 

I knew it was us against the world. 

 
 

You promised me you'd teach me how to drive, 

you promised to be there at my graduation,  

you promised to never leave, 

life is cruel, 

life is unfair, 

you knew that better than anyone, 

life took you from me, 

no warning, no call 

it simply snatched you from the plane of existence on a cold winter afternoon. 

 
 

It’s been two days since it happened, 

it hurts a bit less when I sleep at night, like a slow healing wound,  

the tears are sporadic, the distractions are constant, the pain is never-ending, 

it seems as though the world is mocking me, 

taking you away before the new year, 

ripping away any source of comfort or home. 

 
 

The morning after was the hardest, 

waking up in my bed as if it was just a cruel nightmare,  

only to be reminded that it was the hideous reality, 

I sunk deeper into my pillow crying out your name,  

praying with each ounce of energy that you would return, 

only to be met with silence.  

 
 

The moment I saw your body my facade broke, 

the moment I saw your body covered in a white sheet my heart split wide open, 

the white sheet covering the six feet of a once healthy grandfather, staring at my lifeless face.  

It took all the strength i had to hold it together, 

be a soldier like you once were, 

I knew that was farewell, 

I knew it was time, and so i covered you with flowers with shaky hands,  

the final rose placed above your heart where you'll forever remain in mine. 

 
 

I hope you're happier, 

I hope you're sound, 

I hope you remember all the fond memories we made and all the times we messed around, 

I hope you're smiling,  

I hope you're proud, 

I hope you know you'll never be forgotten,  

I hope you know your life was like a movie, 

I hope you know everything feels a bit numb, 

I hope you know I miss you more than life itself.  

 
 

Perhaps the world wasn't big enough for your soul, 

perhaps its better this way,  

perhaps loss is the greatest element of a life well lived,  

perhaps we'll meet in another lifetime,  

until then,  

know you're deeply missed, 

I bid you farewell with all the love I can muster, 

I'll live life for the both of us.